Are You in a Situationship or a Real Relationship? Here's How to Know for Sure

How to Know If It's Real or Just a Situationship

We’ve all been there. You’re vibing with someone, texting constantly, hanging out... but somehow, the relationship status? Undefined. No labels, no commitments—just a mix of feelings and confusion. Welcome to the world of situationships, where the lines between casual and committed get real blurry.

So how do you know if you’re in an actual relationship or just stuck in a situationship? Let’s break it down for you.

What Even Is a Situationship?

A situationship is that awkward in-between phase where you’re definitely more than just friends, but not quite a full-blown couple. It’s the modern-day dating limbo. You might be hanging out all the time, maybe even getting a little flirty on the ‘Gram, but you haven’t had “the talk”—you know, the “what are we?” conversation. Things feel a little more serious than a casual fling, but something’s stopping it from going all the way to official.

Let’s be real, situationships can feel fun and carefree... until you catch feelings and realize you’re stuck in a grey area.

Signs You're in a Situationship

1. There’s No Label: If it’s been a few months and you still don’t know if you’re dating, it’s probably a situationship. Maybe you’re just “hanging out” or “chilling.” But if the thought of introducing them to friends as “my person” feels complicated, it’s a sign.
2. Inconsistent Communication: One week, they’re texting you like crazy, and the next week they’re MIA. It’s like dating on their terms, and your schedule barely matters. Real relationships are consistent and communicative, even if life gets hectic. In a situationship, you never know when (or if) you’ll hear from them.
3. They Avoid Defining Things: Every time you try to have “the talk,” they dodge it like it’s a game of emotional dodgeball. Whether it’s with humor or an excuse, they steer clear of any conversation that makes the relationship real.
4. No Long-Term Plans: When you’re in a real relationship, there’s talk about the future—whether it’s planning a trip next month or just making plans for next weekend. In a situationship, things feel like they’re always up in the air. You live in the now with no clue where it’s heading.
5. Physical > Emotional: If your connection feels more physical than emotional, chances are you’re in a situationship. Relationships are a balance of both, but when it’s mainly about hooking up with little emotional vulnerability? You might not be getting the full package.

Why Do We End Up in Situationships?

Blame it on dating apps, modern hookup culture, or the fear of commitment—situationships are everywhere. For some people, keeping things casual works. There’s no pressure, and it’s all about living in the moment. But the problem? Feelings can creep in, and suddenly what was casual for one person might start to mean something more to the other.

For Gen Z, relationships are often fluid. Many of us aren’t into rushing into labels or traditional dating roles. But if you’re catching feelings and your situationship isn’t evolving, it can lead to some real emotional confusion.

How to Know If It's Real: The Signs of a Healthy Relationship

1. You Communicate Regularly: No disappearing acts here. If you’re in a real relationship, you’ll talk regularly. Even when life gets busy, they make time for you, and you’re not left wondering where they are or what’s happening.
2. You’ve Had the “What Are We” Talk: In a real relationship, both people are on the same page about what they want. You’ve discussed whether you’re exclusive, and there’s no ambiguity about where things are headed.
3. You Feel Secure: If you’re constantly questioning your place in their life, it’s a red flag. In a real relationship, you feel secure in knowing they care about you and prioritize you.
4. They Show Up for You: When someone’s really into you, they show up. Whether it’s supporting you when things get tough or just making time for you regularly, they’re present emotionally and physically.
5. There’s Mutual Respect: In a situationship, it can feel like everything’s on their terms. But in a healthy relationship, both people respect each other’s needs, boundaries, and time.

What to Do If You're in a Situationship

If you realize you’re caught in a situationship but want something more, it’s time to get clear about what you want. It’s easy to stay in a situationship because it’s convenient or because you’re scared of rejection, but your time and feelings are valuable.

• Have the Conversation: Don’t be afraid to ask them where they stand. It might feel awkward, but you deserve to know if you’re both on the same page.
• Set Boundaries: If you want more, don’t settle for less. It’s okay to say you need more commitment or clarity.
• Be Ready to Walk Away: If they’re not willing to move forward and you’re left feeling unsatisfied, it might be time to move on. Situationships can be fun, but not if you’re compromising your emotional well-being.

Situationships can be fun and exciting—until they’re not. If you’re catching feelings and not sure if it’s real, take a step back and figure out what you want. Remember, you deserve someone who’s as invested in you as you are in them. It might be scary to have that talk or walk away, but your heart (and mental health) will thank you later.

Stay connected with more insights into modern relationships and dating trends at Woke Waves Magazine.

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