70 Taylor Swift Jokes That Will Leave You 'Wonderstruck'

You Belong With These 70 Hilarious Taylor Swift Jokes: A Swiftie's Guide to Laughing It Off

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that Taylor Swift is a mood. Whether she’s dropping chart-topping hits or breaking the internet with her re-recordings, Taylor’s impact is legendary. But beyond her music, she’s also a total goldmine for some seriously funny jokes. From Red-hot breakup anthems to witty Reputation burns, Taylor’s life has inspired endless laughs. And let’s be real—who doesn’t love a good pun or playful jab at their fave pop queen?

That’s why we’ve rounded up 70 of the best Taylor Swift jokes that’ll have you giggling faster than she can Shake It Off. Whether you’re a Swiftie or just love a solid punchline, these jokes will have you laughing all the way through her Eras. So grab your “Cardigan” and get ready, because this list is about to be more fun than a Taylor Swift concert!

1-10: Bad Blood Jokes

1. Why did Taylor Swift break up with the calculator?
   Because it couldn’t solve her problems.
2. What’s Taylor’s favorite type of bread?
   Whole Wheat Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.
3. Why didn’t Taylor Swift play cards with the Joker?
   She said, “I don’t want no Bad Blood.”
4. Why doesn’t Taylor go to fast food restaurants?
   She can’t handle the shake it off.
5. What did Taylor Swift say when she got too hot?
   I’m feeling 22 degrees hotter!
6. Why did Taylor start gardening?
   Because she needed some space to grow and find her roots!
7. Why don’t you ever see Taylor Swift at a comedy show?
   She always shakes off the punchlines.
8. How does Taylor Swift organize a party?
   She creates a Blank Space and lets the drama unfold!
9. What’s Taylor’s favorite kind of math?
   Alge-Taylor-bra, because she’s always finding X.
10. What did Taylor Swift say to the paper shredder?
    “I knew you were trouble when I fed you!”

11-20: Blank Space Banter

11. Why don’t Taylor’s friends argue with her anymore?
    Because they don’t want to end up on her next album.
12. What did the pen say to Taylor Swift?
    I’ve got a Blank Space, baby, and I’ll write your name!
13. Why does Taylor love horror movies?
    Because she's been through haunted relationships.
14. Why was Taylor Swift always good at hide-and-seek?
    Because she knew how to write a great Ex-Scape plan.
15. Why didn’t Taylor go to the beach?
    She didn’t want to deal with the bad blood of jellyfish.
16. How does Taylor send letters?
    With a Blank Space stamp.
17. Why did Taylor buy new stationery?
    So she could start with a Blank Space when writing her exes’ names.
18. Why does Taylor never skip leg day?
    She needs to stay strong to Shake It Off when things get heavy.
19. What’s Taylor’s favorite holiday?
    We Are Never Ever getting out of Halloween!
20. Why is Taylor Swift the best detective?
    Because she knows how to track down exactly what went wrong.

21-30: Shake It Off Shenanigans

21. What’s Taylor’s favorite cardio workout?
    Running away from bad relationships.
22. Why did Taylor Swift bring a broom to her concert?
    Because she’s always ready to sweep the awards.
23. Why does Taylor love rollercoasters?
    They remind her of her dating history.
24. How did Taylor calm down after a bad day?
    She shook it off…obviously.
25. What do you call a Taylor Swift concert in the middle of winter?
    The Cold As You tour.
26. Why does Taylor Swift make great tea?
    Because she’s the queen of spilling it in her songs.
27. Why did Taylor Swift go to therapy?
    Because even she couldn’t shake off all her exes.
28. Why is Taylor Swift great at poker?
    She’s always got a Blank Space on her face.
29. What’s Taylor’s favorite car?
    A convertible—she loves driving with the top down and shaking it off.
30. Why did Taylor apply to be a weather girl?
    Because she can predict the Storms all too well.

31-40: All Too Well Laughs

31. Why is Taylor Swift like a piano?
    She has 88 problems, but a note ain't one.
32. Why does Taylor never use a dating app?
    She’s too busy writing songs about her real-life love stories.
33. How does Taylor Swift fix a broken heart?
    With 13 tracks of healing.
34. What’s Taylor’s go-to mood?
    She’s always Red and ready.
35. Why did Taylor start a podcast?
    So she could tell her love stories without interruptions.
36. How does Taylor Swift stay grounded?
    By keeping her feet on the ground and letting her songs take off.
37. Why did Taylor get kicked out of the library?
    Because she kept rewriting history.
38. Why does Taylor never get cold?
    She has a reputation for staying warm.
39. What did Taylor say after she hit her funny bone?
    Now I’m feeling 22, but in the worst way possible!
40. Why does Taylor love astrology?
    Because she’s always checking her Signal for new inspiration.

41-50: Swiftie Level Jokes

41. Why do Swifties love geometry?
    Because they’re always ready to find the angle in Taylor’s songs.
42. How does Taylor Swift sign her autographs?
    With a Blank Space and a pen!
43. What’s Taylor’s favorite type of clothing?
    A cardigan, obviously.
44. Why does Taylor carry a diary everywhere?
    Because she’s always writing the next hit song.
45. Why did Taylor go to space?
    To find the stars she sings about in every other song!
46. Why doesn’t Taylor wear jewelry?
    She doesn’t need it—her songs are the real gems.
47. Why did Taylor always win the school talent show?
    Because her performance was Fearless.
48. Why does Taylor avoid elevators?
    Too many ups and downs remind her of past relationships.
49. Why do Swifties bring tissues to her concerts?
    Because they know it’s going to be All Too Well 10-minute version.
50. What do you call Taylor Swift on a pirate ship?
    Captain Swift—the Red-headed leader!

51-60: Reputation-Related Humor

51. Why doesn’t Taylor have enemies?
    Because she already wrote about them in Reputation.
52. What’s Taylor’s least favorite fruit?
    Bananas—they always go Bad Blood too fast.
53. Why did Taylor start writing songs about grocery shopping?
    Because everything else had been written about already.
54. Why is Taylor Swift a good electrician?
    Because she knows how to light up a room.
55. Why can’t Taylor walk into a bar?
    Because there’s trouble everywhere she goes.
56. Why did Taylor’s exes break up with her?
    Because they couldn’t handle her Fearless independence.
57. Why did Taylor switch to decaf?
    She was too Red hot!
58. What did Taylor say when she saw her reflection?
    I knew I was trouble when I saw me.
59. Why did Taylor avoid social media?
    She didn’t need more drama—her songs have enough of it!
60. How does Taylor charge her phone?
    She just plugs it into her latest album.

61-70: Era-Inspired Fun

61. Why is Taylor Swift like a fine wine?
    She only gets better with each Era.
62. Why don’t you ever let Taylor watch your dog?
    Because she’ll write a song about it after it misbehaves.
63. What did Taylor Swift say about her morning routine?
    It’s all part of my New Romantics routine!
64. How did Taylor Swift get through heartbreak?
    One track at a time.
65. Why does Taylor never run out of song ideas?
    Because her life’s a constant stream.
66. What did Taylor say when the internet broke?
    Don’t worry, I’ll just Fix It Swift-ly.
67. Why did Taylor learn guitar?
    To string together all her feelings into hits.
68. Why doesn’t Taylor need a GPS?
    Because she’s always on the right track.
69. What’s Taylor’s favorite kind of weather?
    When it’s raining purple—Prince style!
70. How does Taylor keep all her albums organized?
    She Fearless-ly Red-id her filing system.

Whether you’re reliving the Fearless days or vibing with Taylor’s Midnights era, one thing’s for sure: Taylor Swift will always keep us entertained—musically and humorously. These 70 jokes gave us the perfect excuse to poke a little fun at our favorite pop queen, and let’s be real, she’d probably laugh right along with us. From “Bad Blood” puns to “Blank Space” banter, Taylor’s career provides endless material for humor and good vibes.

As Taylor continues to drop new music, we’ll definitely be here, waiting to turn her latest hits into more joke-worthy moments. After all, if you can’t laugh at your favorite pop star’s drama-filled love life and genius comebacks, what can you laugh at?

Stay tuned for more fun takes on your favorite celebs with Woke Waves Magazine!

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