The 12 Commandments of Running Late (And We're Already Behind)

The Ultimate Guide to Running Late (and Looking Good Doing It)

Look, running late is practically an art form. We don’t try to be late, but it’s like the universe throws one curveball after another. Whether you’re a chronic latecomer or you’re just having “one of those days,” these commandments of running late will hit home. So, from one perpetually “on my way” person to another, let’s break down the unwritten rules.

1. Thou Shall Text “On My Way” Before Leaving the House

This one’s practically the golden rule of running late. The moment you realize you’re behind schedule, you whip out your phone and text, “On my way!” while standing in your kitchen, finishing up your coffee. It’s like a rite of passage—you’re not even moving yet, but they don’t need to know that. It buys you precious time to get out the door. Plus, it softens the blow because they think, “Oh, they’re en route!” when, in reality, you’re still hunting for your keys. It’s not exactly a lie, more like… time management with a dash of imagination.

2. Thou Shall Forget at Least One Essential Item

You double-check, triple-check, and yet somehow, something still gets left behind. It’s just how life goes. Maybe it’s your water bottle, the one with all your cute stickers, or your charger—the one item that’s definitely not replaceable at a random store. Usually, you remember it just as the door slams shut. You could go back, but you’re already ten minutes late, so it’s a game-time decision. The true test of a seasoned latecomer is knowing when to sacrifice that item and just hope for the best. You’ll manage, right?

3. Thou Shall Try on Three Outfits at the Last Second

It doesn’t matter if you picked an outfit last night; the second you’re running late, your closet turns against you. Suddenly, nothing looks right. You try on one top, hate it, switch to another, and somehow end up in the exact shirt you rejected first. Every mirror in your room has seen the chaos of you pulling on jeans, tossing them off, and sighing as you look at the clock. But here’s the thing: a last-minute outfit change is essential for that confidence boost. Because if you’re gonna be late, at least you’ll look good doing it.

4. Thou Shall Underestimate Travel Time with Unwavering Confidence

This one’s on all of us. For some reason, whenever we’re running late, we’re convinced we can “totally make it in 10 minutes.” Spoiler: It takes 20 minutes minimum, plus traffic, and maybe a few extra stops along the way. You tell yourself, “It’s a quick ride,” even as Google Maps practically laughs at your optimism. But still, there’s something about rushing out the door with that misguided confidence that makes running late feel a little more bearable. Deep down, you know you’ll be late, but hey, there’s always hope.

5. Thou Shall Panic About Time, but Still Make Time for One Last Thing

This is a classic latecomer move: just as you’re finally ready to leave, you suddenly remember something “super important” that has to be done. Maybe it’s a last-minute iced coffee, or grabbing an extra snack, or even scrolling TikTok for a “quick sec.” It’s like, despite the ticking clock, you need a final moment of peace before braving the outside world. Sure, that last-second detour might tack on a few extra minutes, but without it, the whole routine feels incomplete. Priorities, right?

6. Thou Shall Attempt a Full Skincare Routine at the Worst Possible Moment

Running late? Doesn’t matter—your skin still needs some love! You tell yourself it’ll be a “quick” routine, but suddenly, you’re five products deep and patting on serums like it’s a full spa day. The mirror stares back, probably judging, but you can’t rush a glow-up. You’re already late, so why not look fresh while doing it? Because when it comes down to it, your skin deserves better than a rushed splash of water, even if that means sacrificing a few extra minutes.

7. Thou Shall Spend 15 Minutes Looking for Headphones Because Music > Punctuality

If you’re gonna be late, you may as well have a soundtrack. So begins the headphone hunt, which almost always takes way longer than expected. You check every bag, every drawer, even the laundry pile. Music is essential, especially if you’re about to speed-walk through the city. Arriving without headphones? Not an option. If you’re running late and have no music, the whole vibe is off, and we simply cannot have that. So, the hunt continues until you finally find them... or give up and just deal with the silence.

8. Thou Shall Talk Yourself into Unrealistic Makeup Hacks

At this point, time has lost all meaning, but somehow, you think you can still pull off a full makeup look in under three minutes. Enter the “five-minute face” hacks, which are only “five minutes” if you’re a makeup wizard. Concealer, powder, quick swipe of mascara—you try to keep it simple, but somehow it snowballs. Blame it on YouTube tutorials or TikTok beauty hacks that made you think you could pull this off. It’s like you’re running a race against the clock, with each brush stroke taking you closer to either a flawless look or giving up halfway.

9. Thou Shall Suddenly Care About Chores You’ve Ignored All Week

You’re about to leave, then suddenly, you remember that pile of laundry on the chair or those dishes in the sink. Why now? Because running late apparently triggers some primal urge to clean. So, you do a quick straighten-up (or so you tell yourself), folding clothes at lightning speed or doing a fast scrub of last night’s plate. It’s wildly unnecessary, but somehow, a late exit feels more manageable if your space isn’t a disaster. Or maybe it’s just the ultimate procrastination move.

10. Thou Shall Overload Your Bag with “Essentials” You Won’t Use

Being late makes you paranoid about forgetting things, so you start tossing every “essential” into your bag like you’re preparing for a two-week hike. Charger? Check. Emergency snack? Check. Half the contents of your desk? Why not. By the time you leave, you’re carrying a mini survival kit. Will you use all of it? Nope. But there’s comfort in knowing it’s there… just in case. And if you’re gonna be late, at least you’re prepared for anything.

11. Thou Shall Overthink Every Step, but Move at a Snail’s Pace

You’re technically in a hurry, but your mind is already five steps ahead. Mentally planning out every second, you stress about your route, your timing, and what excuse you’ll give. All this overthinking somehow slows you down even more. It’s like being in an imaginary chess match with time itself. But hey, sometimes the thought process takes longer than actually getting there, and that’s just part of the latecomer lifestyle.

12. Thou Shall Finally Accept Your Fate with a Final Sigh

The last commandment—the one we all know too well. At a certain point, you’ve done all you can, and you accept that you’re gonna be late. It’s a sigh of defeat but also one of relief. You take a deep breath, maybe adjust your outfit one last time, and walk out the door like nothing happened. Because by now, you’ve got this whole “running late” thing down to an art. After all, time is just a suggestion… right?

Let’s face it—these commandments aren’t going anywhere, and neither are our latecomer tendencies. So if you’re like me, just own it. Maybe next time, you’ll be on time (or maybe not), but at least you’ll know you’re not alone in the struggle of showing up fashionably late.

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